Upcoming birthday

In about a month from now I'll turn thirty something. I don't mind getting old; I just wonder if on that date I'll be posting as I once did:

Looking backward, looking forward
by LuK
[Insights on turning 30]

23:17 / July 13

Let´s see.

After three decades there's no use in listing achievements since being here IS already a big issue if you consider all those years of going to school and paying tuition, putting up with growing pains, wearing braces, surviving intense relationships, grasping control over your life and daily choices, being sent flowers, eating well and working out, undergoing surgery, experimenting love and understanding lust, going back and forth in building personality and assimilating [expected] character, wearing out your blatant psychic economy, formatting and restoring your lap at 3 am, winning a car, writing to cleanse and nurture your solitude, sharing your opinion with your sister (and re-acknowledging her), not being able to put money away and save for a place of your own, getting to know yourself through the least of your acquaintances, breathing in between sex episodes, holding hands before a sunset, learning that there's nothing wrong in going to a flick all by yourself, traveling and craving for your bed, sitting on an airplane for 13+ hours, running out of cash by the end of the month, spending ridiculous time surfing the net and creating playlists for your iPod, building a personal site which probably no one will read (wait, is that why I am doing it? Naah), shaking hands with your Dad and accepting gas waivers from your Mom, growing gray (white, actually) hair as if loosing it weren't enough, becoming pickier about booze, accumulating unread books, falling head over heels, getting over nonreciprocal lovers, realizing why you do not want to be mainstream, feeling like you'll never complete your thesis dissertation (twice), attending (and putting up with) your friends' weddings, eating bran flakes and drinking coffee twice a day, browsing your various contact lists to thinning them, submitting papers, tweening dreams and boosting your oniric life to the next level, sliding from fluoxetine to methylphenidate, taking phone calls in the middle of the night from your drunk (but beloved) friends and doing likewise, knowing true emotional vulnerability before your loved one, pumping adrenaline behind the wheel, ruining your favorite sneakers while raving with your friends, listening to your favorite tune over and over until it completely loses sense, giving up on your beard and sideburns, shifting from (religious) hypocrisy to all-accessible, guilt-free spirituality, detaching from outer approval, not following but generating, evolving from fear and screwing up, being captivated by science and nature, encountering (transiently) your true soulmate, conciliating your narcissism and neurotic cosmos, maturing your interpersonal approach and farewell, forgiving and letting go, taking pride in your roots, brainstorming with brilliant people, still holding on to your ability to awe, having figured out your calling (at least professionally and academically), making love and waking up to the lips of your significant other, cooking for your friends, being spoiled by your parents at 29, going from geeky to daring, making someone smile, being flirted with, and so on. In other words...

PROCRASTINATING & NOT.

Nonetheless, all of the above are not precisely self depicting contexts. It's more of a (somehow random) gathering. Different actual circumstances contrasted with potential situations where perhaps someone sometime (hopefully soon) will interfere and shift my life story. Events also play a role, but it's really the people that end up shaping paths and outcomes. At least, in my thirtieth birthday is what I believe; predictably, when I'm 40 I'll look back on all this and reflect on constructs such as "precious time flushed away", transience", "persistent adolescence", and "what success really means". Meanwhile, I'm off to bed.

01:53 / July 14

Probably yes.